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Toilet Paper

by Lionel E. Deimel







 Roll of toilet paper


While sitting on the toilet,

Mulling over some great issue,

I suddenly became aware

Of needing toilet tissue.


The roll was nearly empty

In its holder on the wall;

No spares were in the cabinet

Or closet in the hall.


And, later, when I chanced to use

The powder room downstairs,

The want of paper, yet again,

Would catch me unawares.


I had to go to market

To replenish my supply

Of aloe-laced and comfort-quilted

Rolls of double-ply.


I remembered I was out of eggs

And instant oatmeal, too;

I only had one tea bag,

And I needed more shampoo.


I thought of writing out a list

For checking at the store,

But listing so few things to buy

Seemed such a needless chore.


I soon was walking through the aisles

With shampoo in my cart,

I picked up eggs and riceóon saleó

And cherries for a tart.


Cans of cat food were on special,

So I purchased quite a few;

I bought my tea and oatmeal

And some beef chunks for a stew. 


I had five bags of groceries

When, finally, I returned

And flopped down on my easy chair

For rest I thought Iíd earned. 


But, later, in the bathroom,

I would have the revelation

That Iíd bought no toilet tissue

For my current situation.



Though I exaggerate details in this poem, the basic plot of making a special trip to the supermarket for toilet paper and coming home without that particular item is autobiographical. 

The meter in this poem is straightforward, I think, with two feet in each line, though the number of syllables varies from six to nine. If youíre not reading it that way, try again. For example, the first syllable emphasized in the line about cat food is cat.

ó LED, 12/8/2002

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