Political Limericks for 2016
by Lionel E. Deimel
The 2016 races for the nominations of the
Democratic and Republican parties for President of the United States
have devolved into two rather surprising two-person contests. The heir
apparent to the Democratic nomination, former First Lady, Senator, and
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, is being challenged by
self-described socialist Bernie Sanders. In many ways, Sanders’ appeal
is not totally unlike that of the Republican front runner, Donald Trump,
who is surely the unlikeliest candidate to come along in quite some
time. Out of an initial field of 17 Republican candidates, only Trump, Senator Ted
Cruz, and Governor John Kasich remain. GOP leaders are
desperately trying to stop Trump from wrapping up the nomination through
primaries and caucuses. For this reason, they are encouraging voting for
Cruz. Kasich, who has only won a primary in his home state, hopes
that a deadlocked convention will turn to him.
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Donald John TrumpThere once
was a candidate, Trump,
Who attracted big crowds on the stump.
To his fans, he was crude,
To reporters, quite rude,
And to leaders, a nuisance to dump.
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Rafael Edward Cruz
The candidate, Senator Cruz,
Has been prodded to make Donald lose.
Since nobody likes him,
His chances are quite slim;
Even winning will give pols the blues.
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Hillary Rodham Clinton
There once was a candidate, Hillary,
Whom conservatives delighted to pillory.
“This year is for me,”
Said Clinton, with glee,
“And Bernie is just an auxiliary.”
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Bernard Sanders
There once was a socialist, Bernie,
Who essayed an impossible journey.
“The rich don’t need more,
For too many are poor,”
He declared in the president tourney.
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These poems were not easy to write,
primarily because the candidates do not necessarily have easily rhymed
names. “Bernie Sanders” was particularly troublesome. (Sanders, by the
way, has no middle name, which explains the name of his limerick.)
Need I say that I did not try to completely
characterize the four candidacies dealt with above? Limericks are not
sonnets, after all. The best I could do is capture a moment in the long presidential
campaign with a bit of humor or insight.
These limericks were written between
3/22/2016 and 3/28/2016. Versions of each poem were first posted on
Facebook, and I must acknowledge the helpful feedback I received there.
I wrote the Clinton poem on the day that
Sanders won three of three presidential primaries. Clinton retained her
delegate lead, but the Sanders camp continued to hope for ultimate
victory. On Facebook, a commenter offed these lines to replace the final
three lines of “Hillary Rodham Clinton”:
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“But
this year is for me,”
said Bernie, with glee,
“And Clinton is just an auxiliary.” |
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This is a clever edit, particularly given the
point at which it was suggested, but I wanted to keep the poems focused
on their nominal subjects.
— LED,
3/28/2016 |
   
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